If Only
by GerryPhan
Summary: Mostly from Christine's point of view but with a twist worth reading! It's short so definitely check this one out. One Shot. Slightly EC. Read and Review please.


Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea for this one shot.

A/N: Mostly Christine's POV (point of view).

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I looked up into his breathtakingly unique amber eyes, though with all the pain I have caused him, they now looked to be more of a blueish color. I had hoped it was not I that brought about the change, but I fear that it was. 

"Oh my love, I'm so sorry to have caused you such pain. Please forgive me and I promise to be true to you and you alone. Never will I allow myself to receive another man's affections toward me, if it be jewelry or flowers, anything. Never again. Especially not from _him_. You know full well of whom it is I speak of. Tell me, do you see how faithful I am? I refuse to ever let his name escape from my lips and roll of my tongue. As long as you will always be the one to guide me and let me be by your side, I will forget him all together."

The way he regarded me just about broke my heart in two. He, who's eyes once burned for me, just looked at me with nothing but pity in his eyes. I would make him see the devotion I had to him and him alone. It would be undeniable.

"Can't you see how hard I've been trying? I have been practicing my scales everyday. Just like you taught me to. Look, I've finally mastered the song that you were having trouble teaching me." I sang it and a tear fell from his eye. Not for the beautiful sound my voice made, but out of sadness. Were my confessions of love to late? Did they fall on a heart that was blackened and decayed from my doing? I must show him that he could still have a chance at happiness. That _we _could still be happy. I would make him see!

"I learned this song for you, my love, for you! I only want to make you happy. We can finally be together now. I will marry you if you so wish it. Today even. Please, just don't leave me."

Desperately I searched these eyes full of anguish and sorrow resorting so far as to kneel in fount of where he was sitting and grab hold of his jacket lapels, clinging on to them for dear life and my sanity as well. Throughout the whole ordeal he just remained silent and still, only the slightest movement coming from his chest as he breathed in and out. I was shaking so hard and finally stopped when a pair of hands wrapped around mine removing them and their death grip from his now wrinkled jacket. Slowly he brought them to his lips and kissed both of them tenderly. First my right hand then the left one. He was so tender and thoughtful sometimes. This was the man that I loved and was glad to be reunited with.

Ever so slowly he stood and pulled myself up gently with him. Finally he spoke.

"Oh Christine. Don't you know I love you? Beyond words, but you still hurt me so much by saying these things. You say you love me, but I know you love him. I'm not _him_, nor will I ever be. This is the only way we can ever be together. When you finally learn to forget _him_ completely and love only me. Will you say that you will at least try to do this?" His tears flowed freely now, unrestrained, as did mine.

"I don't want you to be _him_! I want _you_ for who you are and only you. Hold me in your arms now and feel me there. I'm here now, I'm here and I won't ever leave you again." As I embraced him and his arms encircled me I was overjoyed to finally be in the arms of the man I loved. Never again would I make the foolish mistake of leaving him, never.

So elated was I to have the love of my life holding me tightly that I began to say his name over and over again while I professed my undying love and devotion for him alone till it was time for him to leave. More than likely he had another masterpiece to write or maybe he would help me to get another lead in the upcoming opera. He was so considerate. I would work on another song while he was gone, and this was what I did as I awaited his return.

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I embraced her in my arms. How long I've dreamed of this moment, but I knew I would never really have her. _He_ would forever be on her mind and it killed me to admit it. I knew I would never be able to love another. So I returned to see if she recovered from her feelings for _him_. The next day I came and the next. For years she would say the same things. Christine would confess of her love and desires to marry but I would just leave and hope the next day would be the miracle I was looking for. 

I was no longer the young man I used to be. My body was old though my heart still loved her with the strength of my youth. On one gloomy afternoon, the time I would always choose to visit her, a doctor approached me before I could reach her room. "I'm so sorry, but she died in her sleep." I knew the day was coming and now it had finally arrived. Never will we know the joys that could have been had she only loved me like she did _him_. I said my final good-byes at the funeral. It was private of course. I was the only one in attendance. Before the dirt filled her cold resting place, I threw in a news paper clipping. It was only right for her to be buried with the thing that, in a sense, killed her.

"Goodbye, my love, goodbye."

As I was wheeled away from her grave I recalled the newspaper clipping and remembered every word by heart. I would remember those three words till the day I died, which I felt was rapidly approaching.

It read simply, "Erik is dead."

Every day I went to that hospital, memorizing even the cracks in the wall I was there so regularly, yet my hope was in vain. Never did she return to me like she said she would, though her promises weren't ever really made to _me_. No Christine always belonged to _him_.

"Monsieur de Chagny I am very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you Marie." My nurse said no more and I remained silent. Quietly reflecting on what could have been if only Christine had never read the headline.

If only...

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A/N: So what did you think? Were you surprised? Let me know by reviewing. I appreciate every one who takes the time to do so. Also, if you like this story, you may want to read my other one shot called 'In Your Arms'. It has a surprise ending too. I know I know, shameless advertisement... sorry. Thanks again for looking at my story and as always... 

Happy Reading - GP


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